One Question the Christian Woman Should Never Ask Herself
The question: “How can I fulfill myself?”
Instead, she should ask, “How can I serve others? How can I glorify God with my life, time, body, energy, and efforts?”
“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.”
— Romans 8:5 NKJV
Some women wrongly believe that marriage, motherhood, and homemaking will fulfill them. They pursue these things for their own personal benefit, not for the good of their families.
Other women take the more common feminist path and seek fulfillment in a career, vacations, independence, friendships, sex, and a string of romantic relationships—instead of asking, “How can I use my single years for God’s glory? How can I serve my family, church, and community?”
Both of these women—those living for their own fulfillment—are actually feminists. One may not admit it, but the truth is this: if a wife and mother believes she is the one who should be served, the one who should get her way, then her mindset is no different than the woman chasing career and independence. Both are seeking to serve themselves—just in different ways.
“For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.”
— James 3:16 NKJV
This is the primary difference between the Christian woman and the feminist. The feminist is focused on how she can fulfill herself—how she can pursue her career dreams, enjoy sex without the consequence of children, travel, pamper herself, chase fleeting beauty, and live for her own desires.
The feminist housewife, meanwhile, is focused on what her husband can do for her. She demands that every task in the home be split evenly, insists on having as much free time from the children as he does, and makes intimacy all about her—on her timetable—while neglecting what her husband may desire.
“She who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.”
— 1 Timothy 5:6 NKJV
Sisters, this hedonistic way of life ultimately leads to misery. But a life that is focused on God and others yields the beautiful fruit of joy and peace.
“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”
— Matthew 16:24 NKJV
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.”
— Philippians 2:3 NKJV
“It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
— Acts 20:35 NKJV
So don’t ask how you can fulfill yourself—ask instead how you can serve God and others.
Answering an Important Question
After posting this on instagram I received a question that I feel is valid and deserves an answer.
My answer:
Absolutely—it is possible to live a life that is personally fulfilling and still marked by love and selflessness. I go on vacations with my family, I have a small online job I enjoy, and I even have hobbies. These things are not wrong in and of themselves—in fact, they can be beautiful gifts from the Lord.
The heart of the matter is focus. For the Christian woman, the aim isn’t simply personal fulfillment, but honoring God in all things. Enjoying a vacation, a career, or a hobby can absolutely be part of that, but they are not the end goal. The question is: are we delighting in the gifts, or are we delighting in the Giver?
When life doesn’t allow for those good things—when a season of caregiving, sacrifice, or difficulty comes—what is our response? Are we bitter, or are we surrendered? That’s where the heart is tested.
So yes, we can enjoy God’s good gifts. But the Christian life is ultimately one of joyful surrender. A personally fulfilling life isn’t wrong, but it must be rightly ordered—seeking first the Kingdom of God and trusting Him to supply what we need, in every season.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
Matthew 6:33 NKJV
We can trust His plans and wisdom sisters. Hope you all have a blessed week.
In Christ,
Stacey
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I think, at the end, you mean we CAN trust His plans and wisdom! ❤️
Loved your post ❤️
“How can I serve others? How can I glorify God with my life, time, body, energy, and efforts?”
Once I rid myself of my own ego and my own vanity, this was the way I found fulfillment.