The Truth about Child Training

Thoughts from a Christian mom of 8

Dear Abiding Homemakers and Mamas,

So many have asked me about childtraining, and so today my hope is to begin laying a foundation for sharing what I've learned about this topic over the years. There will be more on this in the future. I hope the mothers who follow along are encouraged today by the words I share.

Setting the Vision

What is a Godly mother? What does she do with her time? How does she interact with her children? How does she teach and train her children? What do her daily actions look like? How does she speak? How consistent is she? What kinds of things does she talk about to her children? What are her main goals and objectives? What kind of home does she create for her family? I like to ask myself these types of questions so that I can gain a vision for who I want to be. And having a vision is a good thing because it helps us know what we are aiming for. But as soon as I gather the answers to these questions in my head, there can be a temptation to feel discouraged at my lack. I see how much I fall short of this beautiful goal. My own sin and failures are discouraging. My lack of physical strength and energy to carry out all of those tasks can feel disheartening. And that’s when I have to remind myself that the worldly mantra “You are enough” is actually not true. No, I’m not enough, and neither are you. And guess what? that’s okay because God designed it that way so that we wouldn’t trust in ourselves, but instead we would be completely dependent on Him for the strength, wisdom, and love to carry out this monumental task of motherhood.

The Home is the Training Ground

It is who we are at home that shows us who we really are. And the reality is life at home is where things get brought to the surface. Our sin is usually revealed within the four walls of our home. This is normal, and it’s not something that we should be overly discouraged about or feeling like something is just wrong with us or our family.

These times where our sins and bad attitudes are exposed are what the Lord uses to sanctify us. Growth in holiness is a process, and family life is one of the tools the Lord uses for this process. One of the most amazing parts of motherhood is that while we are teaching and training our children, God is teaching and training us.

How do I get them to obey?

So many mamas message me saying, “how do you get your children to do their school or chores with good attitudes” or “how do you keep your children from arguing or complaining”. When I read these questions, I get the sense that some people believe there is a combination of childtraining techniques that will make it to where the children are completely trained and the parents nolonger need to and correct.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. Childtraining and the discipleship of our children is an ongoing process. For the children who do not know the Lord as their Saviour, they are slaves to their sin. You can correct and restrain them, but their natural tendency will always be towards what is selfish and sinful. Once children have been saved and are seeking to obey the Lord, they will still battle with their flesh. They will be growing both in maturity and sanctification. Even Christian children need further discipleship and training and the parents are the primary instrument God has ordained to use in this process.

If you think you are doing something wrong because you are still having to correct and teach, then please think again, because that is our job as mothers as long as the Lord allows us to have these children in our homes and under our stewardship and authority.

It Won’t Last Forever

Child training is a long game, a marathon, but it won’t last forever. Our season of raising children will come to an end one day, and that is both a heartache and relief all at once. Because this job that is immensely joyful and wonderful is also long and difficult. Many of us know the fatigue of having cooked, cleaned, paid bills, changed diapers, rebuked, counseled, encouraged, kissed booboos, and taught math facts and reading lessons all before 11am. And yet, we also know that children are a blessing, and that raising them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is the main task God has given us to faithfully walk in during this season. Not necessarily because we are guaranteed that our children will turn out the way we hoped and dreamed, but instead to bring glory to our Heavenly Father. We are mothering heartily as unto the Lord, and not to please men or to please ourselves.

May the Lord richly bless you as you mother heartily as unto the Lord.

Abiding in Jesus daily,

Stacey Blevins